Mom Guilt with a Side of Donuts

I ran into a mom friend of mine today, and it was obvious that she’s had a rough week. Dark circles under her eyes, a crying kid in her grocery cart, and another kid munching on donuts. She went on to tell me what her week was like – doctor’s appointments, teething, and tantrums. Then she added,

“I just needed out of the house today. I need a break – I know that makes me a bad mom.”

As soon as the words slipped out of her mouth, I could tell she regretted it. That is something that we often say in the safety of our mind – where we ridicule, judge, and criticize ourselves worse than anyone else can.

That short conversation has haunted me all day because:

1. It is the furthest thing from the truth. She’s an excellent mom.
2. It is a phrase that I have said to myself a million times.

I recently started going to the gym, and I am debating whether or not I should get a membership. The gym has childcare and both of my kiddos have done really well the few times I’ve gone. However, I am struck with guilt when I’m there. How dare I leave my kids with strangers so that I can work out? I couldn’t possibly take a class – that would be ditching them for an HOUR – I know that makes me a bad mom.

BUT it doesn’t. Needing alone time is NECESSARY and NORMAL. Motherhood is a 24/7 gig, and in order to keep your sanity you have to do thing for yourself! You can only give so much before you’re totally drained, and a drained mom is not the type of mom you want to be.

So, take the hour-long yoga class, join the gym, go to the store and let your kids eat donuts just so you can get out of the house. NONE of that makes you a bad mom, just a human muddling through the hardest (most fulfilling, most frustrating, most amazing) job in the world.

Don’t Mind Me, I’m Just Dreaming Again

It’s been awhile since I’ve taken a virtual vacation, so a Thursday naptime seems like the perfect time!

I have a big ‘ol bowl of popcorn and a Capri Sun (living that fancy mom life!). 😉 Today, we will be touring the Carolinas – both North & South. I cannot wait to call this area HOME.

(This tour is brought to you by pinterest! aka I own NONE of these photos!)

Ahhh. I feel better already. 🙂

Now I’ll just turn up my air conditioning and pretend it won’t be 100+ degrees for the next 4 months. 😦 #arizonaproblems

This is For You

I am tired of the mommy wars – the comparisons – the constant one-upping.

I’m tired of the “they can’t have/do/play” mentality.

I am tired of the “everything is bad” theory.

I am tired of feeling judged CONSTANTLY.

If you have endured the eye rolls, the finger shaking, the lectures from strangers like I have, then this is for YOU.

To the mom who bought her kids donuts, a little sugar won’t hurt.

To the mom who threw a birthday party on a budget, your kid didn’t even notice.

To the mom who yelled at her kids, you’re only human.

To the mom whose kids are always a mess, that means they’re having fun.

To the mom who doesn’t buy organic, your kids will be just fine.

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Kids are resilient. Kids are a handful. Kids are an unbelievable blessing.

Your only job is to love on them and cherish them. Ignore the rules that society deems worthy. They aren’t.

So enjoy Popsicles with red dye 40, have puddle-jumping contests (regardless of the shirt you’re wearing), give your kids their favorite snacks, and LOVE on them no matter what.

At the end of the day, time slips by quickly. You won’t remember how healthy they ate, how pristine their clothes looked at the mall, or how you lived in a “plastic-free home”. You’ll remember the summer day you got soaked to the bone while jumping in puddles during a rainstorm. You’ll remember sticky Popsicle kisses. You’ll remember the weekly donut picnics. You’ll remember the people who sang and laughed with you at birthday parties.

 

 

When Motherhood is Hard

This week I questioned my ability to be a mother – more than once.

Nothing really prepares you for motherhood. Unfortunately, there are no manuals even though my bookshelf is filled with about a dozen books that claim to be.

Motherhood is a big burden at times.

What if my kids turn out to be horrible adults?

What if I don’t prepare them properly for what’s to come?

What if I’m terrified to transition them to a real bed and I keep them in a crib forever? 😉

But really, there’s a lot of pressure. Make sure they eat healthy. Make sure they do amazing crafts that boost creativity. Make sure they play outside. Make sure they learn a million languages so one day they can go to college. The list goes on..

Instead of getting wrapped up in the tough moments this week (OK, I did allow myself a little cry sesh), I am trusting the following:

Sometimes I wonder why. The planner in me wants a manual. But the believer in me knows that this is true. This is God’s plan. Those babies (even in the midst of tantrums and bad behavior) are mine to love on, hold, snuggle, discipline, teach, and share this life with. That makes it all worth it.

Freedom from Social Media

I’m a sensitive person (am I allowed to say that?). I never watch the news because the stories will stick with me and haunt me. I struggle with nightmares. I have to be really careful about what I watch or read. My mama heart is sensitive.

Lately, I have been MAJORLY overdoing it with social media. I find myself constantly checking my Instagram. My phone is always buzzing with facebook notifications. Most of social media is nothingness – photos, silly statuses, etc. But over the past few days there have been articles, stories, and photos that have haunted me. Stories about human trafficking, articles about 6-month-olds being beaten to death, and photos of car accidents.

Maybe it’s  because I have a little one (and spend nights nursing her with nothing but my thoughts) or I’m just sensitive, but I just can’t.

I deleted social media from my phone today *gasp* and this is what happened:

• I sat on the patio with my kids.
• I watched the sun set while rocking my daughter to sleep and watching my son play with his cars.
• I made a delicious dinner.
• I wrote in my journal.
• I misplaced my phone – and didn’t notice for over an hour.

It is time for the real world – being present – and avoiding the pain that can come from social media and constantly being in the know.

Here’s to time with family, time to unwind, and time to unplug. ❤

Through the Eyes of a Child

Having kids has taught me a lot:

how to change a diaper

how to live on virtually no sleep

how to put others ahead of myself

how important coffee is for everyone’s well being

how you should never leave your house without a Binky. Ever.

Something that it has taught me recently with my son – seeing things through the eyes of a child. Kids are in awe of everything. Even the most mundane things. They are filled with excitement and joy over things like a school bus.

Isaac has recently become obsessed with all things transportation – cars, trucks, tractors, trains, you name it! However, to Isaac they are all a “bus”. Whenever we’re going anywhere, you can bet I hear my little guy back there saying “BUS” half a dozen times to describe any big vehicle. He’s obsessed. So now, I’m always looking for actual buses to point out to him. Another prime example = birds. Walking at the park has turned into a scavenger hunt for birds.

The wonderment of a child is something we should all try to emulate. It’s time to slow down and enjoy the little things (like big yellow buses and hummingbirds).

A Much-Needed PJ Day

It has been a fun and busy week. We had my family out visiting, which meant park trips, swimming, late nights, yummy food, and wonderful company. So today we are having a slow morning in our jammies. We’re playing buses, drinking coffee, and hardcore lounging with the washing machine as our soundtrack. Thank God it’s Friday! The hubby had a lot of late nights this week, so we are excited to see him this weekend for some serious family bonding.
If you need us, we’ll be soaking up the rest and relaxation today with no makeup, contacts, or cute clothes. Just comfort. Happy Friday, all!