Mom Guilt with a Side of Donuts

I ran into a mom friend of mine today, and it was obvious that she’s had a rough week. Dark circles under her eyes, a crying kid in her grocery cart, and another kid munching on donuts. She went on to tell me what her week was like – doctor’s appointments, teething, and tantrums. Then she added,

“I just needed out of the house today. I need a break – I know that makes me a bad mom.

As soon as the words slipped out of her mouth, I could tell she regretted it. That is something that we often say in the safety of our mind – where we ridicule, judge, and criticize ourselves worse than anyone else can.

That short conversation has haunted me all day because:

  1. It is the furthest thing from the truth. She’s an excellent mom.
  2. It is a phrase that I have said to myself a million times.

I recently started going to the gym, and I am debating whether or not I should get a membership. The gym has childcare and both of my kiddos have done really well the few times I’ve gone. However, I am struck with guilt when I’m there. How dare I leave my kids with strangers so that I can work out? I couldn’t possibly take a class – that would be ditching them for an HOUR – I know that makes me a bad mom.

BUT it doesn’t. Needing alone time is NECESSARY and NORMAL. Motherhood is a 24/7 gig, and in order to keep your sanity you have to do thing for yourself! You can only give so much before you’re totally drained, and a drained mom is not the type of mom you want to be.

So, take the hour-long yoga class, join the gym, go to the store and let your kids eat donuts just so you can get out of the house. NONE of that makes you a bad mom, just a human muddling through the hardest (most fulfilling, most frustrating, most amazing) job in the world.

My blue-eyed girl!! We've been laying low and enjoying a chill family day - thankful for a day with no plans!

Riding in style at the grocery store! Isaac is a fan of any place that gives him free snacks! #thanksfrys #thathairtho
Apparently, my hubby has a secret stash of photos that I didn't know about. This picture is far from glamorous, but it's a candid picture of motherhood. This was when Julia was only a few weeks old and that first month was HARD. She no longer needs to be held 24/7 or wakes me up every hour of the night. Now she's perfectly content jumping in her bouncer or scooting around. She still wakes up way too much at night, but I'm used to it now. Motherhood is the toughest thing I've ever done, but also the most beautiful. So thankful for my babies and shocked by how quickly they grow.

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